Day twenty four of meditation

It was a challenging day today, in many ways. None that I will bore you with but, needless to say, I found myself struggling to remain… At peace, shall we say, during my meditation session.

I got through half way and realised I’d not listened to my guide once, my mind was so busy with thought after thought. Mostly negative thoughts about myself… And negative thoughts about my capabilities and those around me that I say “stressed me out”.

My meditation, today, has helped me with a sense of self-awareness rather than running from my stress. Dive head first straight into it, actually. It’s for the best… But sitting with painful feelings allowing them to pass can be hard… especially because I’m not wonderful at the “flow” and “letting them pass” part of meditation yet…

In other news, I also tried some meditation designed for commuters today. It was interesting, and potentially helpful, something to consider taking up properly when I’m back at uni.

Well. That’s it for me today. I’m not left feeling wonderful after my meditation today… And I know it’s all part of the process… But man is avoidance a hard habit to break. Pain is painful. And I don’t like it’s. Meditation, for all its rewards, can be confronting. This isn’t to say it’s a bad thing, but at the end of the day, confrontation is still confronting!

But I have hope that I’m on the right path now atleast. For now, I’ll have faith that meditation will guide me through confronting feelings rather than simply into them.

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