I found it really tough to make my decision about what to focus on this time. In the end it seemed most appropriate to choose one that didn’t involve my changing my schedule too much as I have exams coming up. Also, I’ve not been feeling very good about myself the last week, and often when I get like that I starting seeing the world as a very dark place. Furthermore, a few crappy things have happened lately that have caused me to do just that. So it seems appropriate to focus on the positive for a month.
I’ll write an entry daily including atleast thing I’m grateful for and one bad thing that I can find a way to be grateful for something about it (a positive spin). I’d also like to read a bit about gratitude, look into other ways to do so. Maybe I could also aim to, once a day, express my gratitude outwardly to someone. That’s all I’ve got for now.
Starting myself off:
1 thing I was grateful for today- a chance to have a nice slow morning, have a yummy breakfast, cuddle my cats, and just generally take some me time.
1 thing that I wasn’t grateful but can recognise the positive aspects – I didn’t want to go to uni today, I wanted to chill out the whole day and do nothing. But forcing myself to do it made me realise the reason I didn’t want to go was because of been beating myself up about my abilities. Though that thought hasn’t gone away, being forced to go to uni dos force me to be productive, which is good because when I’m not productive it’s just one more thing I could’ve added to the “I’m useless” style of thinking I’ve got going on today. Plus, it’s good to get out of the house, get some air.
Person I need to express gratitude to- my partner. He was a content little safety zone for me today, and that felt comforting, I need to let him know.
So this is the type of thing I’d like to do this month.